My Cousin Elmo says, “If I wanted solutions for my excuses, I’d have thought of them myself.”
Watercolor and pen, 11 x 14 inches
One afternoon shortly before my seventh-grade school year, I was helping my Dad with a dump run. We were by ourselves, a good time to talk.
He was trying to explain some of the ‘other’ facts of life to me as we rumbled south on Highway 101 and over the Klamath River.
“Question everything,” I recall him instructing me.
“Why?” I asked.
“Don’t be a smart-ass,” he returned.
Yeah, even then. And now you know why I am the way that I am.
From Reno’s Radio Row & the EASY 104.1 studios…
Watercolor, 11 x 14 inches
Before his traffic accident, my son was training to be a fixed-route bus driver. It ended when he was struck from behind while driving his vehicle, resulting in a prolonged case of whiplash.
One morning two women got on at the same time. Both headed straight for the last available seat, and when neither got there first, they began arguing.
My son did his best to break up the squabbling before it led to all-out fist-cuffs. He eventually had to stop the bus and separate the two women from each other.
As he returned to his seat, the pair started in again. This time, he didn’t stop the bus but instead announced calmly over the public address system, “Let the ugly one have the seat.”
Both women stood for the remainder of the route.
My Cousin Elmo says, “If NASA discovered a “clump of cells” in space, they’d call it life.”
they walk on my grave
and I ain’t even dead yet
burial is hell
My Cousin Elmo says, “Bragging about a twenty-five cent decrease in the price of gas is like Hannibal Lecter cutting off your arm and then giving you back a finger.”
Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck break into a distillery.
Daffy asks, “Say, is this whiskey?”
Elmer answered, “Yeth, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank.”
A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Dad, how was I born?”
The father answers, ” Well son,I guess one day you will need to find out anyway.
Your Mom and I first got together in an online chat-room. Then I set up a date via E-mail with your Mom, and we met at a Cyber cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said, ‘You’ve got male!'”
“Trust the science.”
“Science says life begins at conception.”
“Not THAT science.”
After God created Adam and Eve, He said, “I have two gifts, one is so you can pee standing up and the other is…”
Adam interrupted, “I want it, Lord. It would make life easier.”
So God gave Adam that gift. Adam screamed for joy and began running through the Garden of Eden, peeing on every tree.
Shaking her head at the man and his antics, Eve asked, “What is the other one?”
“A brain, Eve,” God answered. “I have a brain, and it is yours.”
From a church sermon that I heard as a child many moons ago.
A son slaughtered a cow, fired up the barbecue pit, then said to his father, “Call our loved ones and neighbors to eat with us. Let us feast!”
The father took to the street and started shouting, “Please help us put out a fire at my son’s home!”
After a minute or two, a small group of people came out; the rest acted like they did not hear the older man’s cries for help. Those who did respond ate and drank until they were satisfied.
“I don’t know any of the people,” the son said. “I’ve never seen some of these people before. Where are our family and our friends?”
“These people came to help us put out a fire in your house, not for the party,” the father answered. “These are the ones who deserve your hospitality.”
Immediately after the November 2020 elections, the U.S. Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA) declared it found no hacking or machine vulnerabilities. The Department of Homeland Security admitted in a new report that the Dominion Democracy Suite ImageCast X voting system has nine vulnerabilities, including the ability to “install malicious code” on the machines.
CISA continues claiming that no Dominion voting machines were exploited in 2020, though two Iranian nationals hacked into a state computer election system and stole 100,000 voter registrations. The pair used the data to carry out a cyber-intimidation campaign targeting Congress, Trump campaign officials, and Democratic voters in the November 2020 election.
More than 50 national security experts, countless news organizations, and social media firms falsely claimed in the fall of 2020 that Hunter Biden’s laptop containing information about Biden family corruption was Russian disinformation.
In Nevada, Joey Gilbert has filed an election contest lawsuit after a recount showed he lost the Republican governor primary by about 26,000 votes to Clark County Sheriff Joe Lombardo.
Robert Beadles, a cryptocurrency millionaire who funded the recount, wrote on his website that the lawsuit filed in Carson City District Court will prove that “Joey Gilbert rightfully won the primary with 100% certainty.”
“It’s simple; we prove with mathematical certainty Joey Gilbert is the winner of the primary gubernatorial race and that he had over 55,000 votes taken from him,” Beadles wrote. “It’s a slam dunk case. We’ll post the suit, the exhibits, opinions, etc., as soon as the State publishes them.”
The Las Vegas Review-Journal reported that the lawsuit alleges an “illegal geometric formula” affected the vote-counting process. A copy of the suit was not immediately available.
Former President Donald Trump’s campaign unsuccessfully filed an election contest lawsuit in the 2020 election, but the court ruled insufficient evidence existed to overturn the outcome,
The Clark County Republican Party issued an emergency alert to Republican voters on June 14 to beware of a group offering to help deliver your mail-in ballots.
According to an email from CCRP Chairman Jesse Law:
“I’ve also recently become aware of a major ballot harvesting effort by a Democrat dark money group called the “Institute for a Progressive Nevada.” They are calling around to Republicans to try to turn over your ballots to them. Please be aware of this effort and make sure the people in your network are aware and that it is recommended that they turn in their ballot in person when they vote at the polls or mail their ballot themselves.”
The Institute for Progressive Nevada, run by Nevada Attorney Bradley Schrager, has a mailbox at a UPS store in Las Vegas, Nev., registered with the Nevada Secretary of State’s office.
His employer, Wolf, Rifkin, Shapiro, Schulman & Rabkin, represented Joe Biden in the 2020 election.
In Arizona, a half dozen people face charges of illegal ballot harvesting in an expanding probe. The investigation comes after the U.S. Supreme Court rejected arguments, concluding Arizona’s ban on harvesting was constitutional.
A review of Maricopa County’s mail-in ballots 2020 presidential election shows that more than 200,000 ballots had signatures that did not match voter files, counted without being reviewed, and were more than eight times what the county acknowledged. The Arizona Senate officially called into question more than 50,000 votes made by people no longer living at the addresses listed on ballots.
A Wisconsin Supreme Court opinion states that the 570 drop boxes used during the 2020 election were approved unlawfully by the Wisconsin Election Commission (WEC.) The Wisconsin Supreme Court found that as many as 200,000 voters were allowed to illegally skip voter ID for absentee ballots by claiming they were indefinitely confined by COVID when there was no such legal authority.
The Wisconsin Legislative Audit Bureau identified more than 30 problems with the administration of elections in 2020, including unlawful orders and uneven enforcement of those laws.
Meanwhile, millions of dollars in donations to election administrators in five municipalities from the Mark Zuckerberg-funded Center for Tech and Civic Life violated state anti-bribery laws and corrupted election practices by turning public election authorities into liberal get-out-the-vote activists.
The WEC also failed to record non-citizens in the WisVote voter database, thereby permitting non-citizens to vote, even though Wisconsin law requires U.S. citizenship to vote, violating the Help America Vote Act.
Still in Wisconsin, Illegal ballot harvesting happened in nursing homes where third-party activists illegally collected the ballots of vulnerable residents, some of who lacked the mental or physical capacity to vote or were forbidden from voting by guardianship agreements. Racine County Sheriff Christopher Schmaling secured evidence that eight out of 42 residents at a local nursing home had cast absentee ballots while not possessing the cognitive ability to vote.
The True the Vote election integrity group says in a complaint that a whistleblower, identified as John Doe, admitted his role and identified nonprofits that funded a “$10 per ballot delivered program.” The same group has assembled cell phone location records pinpointing the alleged harvesting by as many as 240 activists.
Michigan’s official state auditor found that Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson failed to adhere to state election law by properly updating and reconciling qualified voter rolls, increasing the risk of ineligible voters casting ballots. Three women face election fraud charges after investigators found they had harvested ballots from residents of nursing homes.
An audit of Texas voter rolls identified nearly 12,000 non-citizens illegally registering to vote and 600 ballots cast in the name of a dead resident or who voted in another state.
Georgia’s Secretary of State identified more than 2,000 foreigners who tried to register to vote though none reached the point of casting ballots. Georgia Secretary of State has opened a criminal investigation into allegations that activists engaged in illegal ballot harvesting, collecting ballots from voters, and delivering them in violation of state law.
The Georgia Secretary of State’s office has opened an investigation into the handling of dropbox ballots last November in one of the state’s Democratic strongholds following a media report that there were problems with the chain of custody documentation in DeKalb County.
Georgia’s handpicked election monitor for Fulton County, the state’s largest voting district, documented two dozen pages of mismanagement and irregularities during vote counting in Atlanta in November 2020, including double-scanning of ballots, insecure transport of ballots, and violations of voter privacy. The revelations prompted the state to take steps to possibly put Fulton County in receivership, empowering state officials to run the elections.
Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp referred the audited November 2020 election results in Fulton County to the State Election Board after multiple reviews found three dozen significant problems with absentee ballot counting, including duplicate tallies, math errors, and transposed data. Kemp’s referral calls into question hundreds of ballots in the official count.
For the last couple of days, I have been moving from news stories for the papers and a news article for my website, and as I approach the final touches to it, I am finding myself unwilling to publish it.
Fear is an emotion I generally lack in these late days of life, and it has always served me well.
However, I must ask myself, do I want to be criticized for my reporting? Do I want to risk being canceled or doxxed?
It has happened before, and it was sheer torture. I spent weeks — no– months trying to recover.
I vowed never to let it happen again.
Yet, here I sit, struggling between the truth and my self-destruction should what I anticipate happen after I push the ‘post’ button.
The world is full of haters, non-thinkers, stuck in their self-made paradigm of “I’m right, you’re wrong.” They haven’t the capacity to see beyond what has been dictated to them.
Tonight, I sleep on it. Tomorrow I will decide.
From Reno’s Radio Row and the KUEZ studios…
“You’re an ass, aren’t you?” The armed security officer asked.
“Yes,” I answered. And pugnacious, too.”
“I don’t know what that means, but go through the door, to you left and get in the line.”
Behind me, I heard him call out, “Anyone with an appointment, come see me.”
I was at the new Department of Motor Vehicle building in South Reno to get my driving license renewed.
It was less the ten minutes before when I parked and walked to the back of the line that had cued at the front doors of the state agency. I let an older man and a woman with two children go ahead of me.
About a minute into our wait, the officer exited the building asking brusquely, “Again, anyone here with an appointment?”
The three of us at the rear of the line raise our hands.
“Well get over here,” he demanded.
That struck me wrong, and I opened my mouth, “First, what is this ‘again’ crap? We jus’ got here. and you ought to have a politer tone with the public.”
“Who are you talking to?
“Mind your business and get in line.”
“Say the Ass with a uniform and gun.”
“I don’t don’t have to take your crap.”
“No, and we shouldn’t have to take your crap. I was nt here when you first asked ‘Again, if anyone here had anppointment. Exact words have meaning when you are in a public position, and second, don’t talk to me or anyone with that uncivil tone. You are in uniform and should act professionally.”
He stood there, gobsmack, as the other people, still in line, started clapping.
After getting my renewal, I walked outside and noticed he was being polite and talking to people rather than shouting at them. He saw me but said nothing, which was fine by me.
As a recent born-again cynic, it delighted my heart to see a fellow human helping another in the only way he could.
En route home, I saw a U.S. Army veteran in his wheelchair holding a handmade sign. I have seen this man at the VA Hospital in Reno.
As I sat three vehicle lengths from the traffic light, I watched as another man, much younger than the vet, limp his way across the street. He stopped and talked to the veteran before doing something extraordinary — he gave the wheelchair-bound man his ball cap to cover his sunburning head.
No, it does not seem like much, but its tiny kindnesses and gestures like a freely given hat to a man needing it, making us real human beings.
I honked at the gift-giving man and gave him a thumbs up, and I got a beaming smile in return.
It is one of the best interviews I have ever conducted. However, I forgot to ask permission to record her voice before we started.
It is one of the best interviews I have ever conducted. However, no one will ever get to hear it because I forgot to push the record button.
It is one of the best interviews I have ever conducted. However, it did not go as planned — at least to my plan.
It is one of the best interviews I have ever conducted. However, many people could not or would not appreciate the subject matter.
It was such an anointed conversation. And we are staving to hear your latest offering when it comes out, so thank you for singing it to me.
And since you can’t disagree with our dear, late friend, Holly Dunn, and her opinion, she was right about you. You broke the ceiling by being one of the Outlaws of country music, and you continued to break ground with your Americana sound.
Preach it, Lacy J. Dalton.
Well, I stayed up till the wee hours because my mind refused to allow me to sleep. It happens more these days, and I believe it is a by-product of age.
While reading, then later listening to music on my cellphone, I recalled a bit of a song I heard many times as a five and six-year-old child. As I remember, it is bluesy, sung by a man with a deep froggish voice.
What song it is, where it comes from, who sang it, and whether recalling it right or bastardizing the lyrics are questions I took to searching for until after 3 a.m.
I know a woman, but she, she don’t like me
I know a woman, but she, she don’t like me
I know a woman, o how I wish she loved me
I never found an answer to those questions, and those words remain locked in my head like a treasured memory.
My Cousin Elmos says, “It’s July 8th, and family still playing with fireworks. Nearly set my Christmas tree ablaze.”
The California Department of Justice made public the personal information of California’s Citizen Concealed Weapon (CCW) permit holders, including names, date of birth, gender, race, driver’s license number, addresses, and criminal history.
But it will be okay — they are offering free “credit monitoring services” because of the “mistake.”
My Cousin Elmo says, “Not too long ago nearly everyone was wearing a mask because of COVID, now if seen wearing a mask, you’re a Proud Boy says to the media.”
It began Thursday morning and came to a close this morning. What was supposed to be a simple news assignment turned into a several-hour event, throwing everything else off track.
“Can you cover the Nevada Women’s Foundation this morning? Shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours.”
“Yes, if you can start the printer.”
“Will do and thank you.”
By three p.m., I knew I was way behind, and even with CC printing underway, I was still in for a long night. At the shop, I discovered the printer had jammed at five out of 415 papers scheduled for production.
After seven more jams, I finally got the printer kicking out newspapers. Then it stopped for no reason, so I called the boss.
As she told me there was nothing to do other than go home, the damned thing started printing again. A few dozen more prints rolled off the press when it stopped again.
This time, I waited thirty minutes before making the call.
“Turn it on and turn it off. See if that gets it going.”
I did, and it did.
But after a few copies of the CC, it began spitting out the DVD. I tried to get it to switch back, but it refused.
It would shut off and on for the next several hours.
Finally, I completed the needed 160 copies of the DVD. It was after 3 a.m., and I left a text message asking the boss to print the last 200 copies of the CC that I still needed.
Next, I hauled ass down the hill to the radio station. After fixing myself a STRONG cup of coffee, I did my show prep before my 6 a.m. air time.
After finishing my shift, I rushed back up the hill to learn the CC was still not done because the printer was still misbehaving. By noon, everything was ready to go. It took me nearly four hours to finish my route.
Once home, I visited for a couple of hours with my wife before she had to leave as she was house-sitting for a friend. When she closed the front door at 7 p.m., I was relaxing in our over-stuffed chair, ottoman under foot, with Buddy-dog by my side.
I awoke this morning, having slept 15 hours where I lounged.