Bug Up the Ass

“I’m sorry,” the nurse said. “What?”

Jim repeated himself, “I have a bug up my ass.”

“Well, sir, you need to calm down so I can get some information from you.”

“I can’t calm down, he said a third time, “I have a bug up my ass.”

The nurse pushed a series of numbers on the phone, then hung it up. In less than a minute to burley uniformed men appeared in the waiting room.

The nurse looked at the pair, then at Jim. Within seconds they had Jim strapped to a gurney and were wheeling him into an emergency room bay.

The more Jim shouted about having a ‘bug up his ass,’ the more they ignored him. Nearly nine hours later, long after Jim had gone quiet, a doctor finally came to examine him.

“This man’s dead,” the doctor said.

A quick check revealed that Jim had choked on something still in his throat. With forceps at the ready, the doctor pried Jim’s mouth open.

Before he could react, the something in Jim’s throat leaped out and clamped its large pincer-shaped mandibles around the doctor’s throat. The doctor’s head popped off his neck before he could make a sound.


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