Fuji Film Moments

Sorting out my mind is how I’ve spent this morning. It began when I woke and clawed from between the sheets.

It’s what I call a ‘Fuji Film moment;’ bright, vivid colors that are not there but real nonetheless. I say Fuji Film because before digital, there was only emulsion film, and the one that always stood out for its color was Fuji.

When printing a roll of Fuji Film, one always had to double-check the standards. It wouldn’t do using Kodak standards for Fuji, as the print would come out a blaze of off-key colors.

Anyway, that’s how I awoke. Somewhere in my brain, the same place as my manic-depression resides, I suspect, a chemical misfiring happened, and I had to let it fade away naturally.

When this happens, it also makes it hard to think clearly. I end up with all sorts of words racing through my head that I cannot keep up with them.

Some phrases I can hold onto, like, “We all have a touch of madness in us, that is to say, we’re each are mentally ill in our own way.”

“I don’t want to paint slowly. It feels more real when I move quickly. The faster, the better.”

“The ocean is eternity, and I’m simply going with the flow in the river of life. Some get to float along and never seem to find a snag or white water. Others, like me, have to dog-paddle, haul out, portage from rock bar to rock bar, and struggle to keep our head above the surface.”

“People tell me to share the fact that I have a case mental illness, but when I do, they call me ‘crazy.'”

It’s not all as dismal as it sounds.

It’s taken time, but I’ve learned to embrace my Fuji Film moments. For instance, I find that I do a lot of painting (something that I only really started doing in the early 2000s) when in this frame of mind.

So this is where I am right now, and though disorientating, it is another superpower, and I cannot be otherwise convinced.


One thought on “Fuji Film Moments

  1. I can say truthfully that I do like your artwork, Tom. Your not crazy, sir! I do like how you spelt the word Disorientating, proper English.

    Liked by 1 person

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