My Cousin Elmo says, "This old age stuff has come at a bad time in my life."
Acrylic and ink, 9 1/2 × 12
Some people do not understand that it is not only rude to yell at people you do not know, but it can also be bad for one’s health. And I’m tired of being yelled at and too damned old to put up with it to boot. Being a sunny and warm morning yesterday, I decided … Continue reading Mind Your Tongue
Watercolor and ink, 9 1/2 x 12
Fellow blogger Allen Rizzi posted a few days back about Don Williams. One of the songs he listed was “What Do You Do with a Good Ol’ Boy Like Me.” While it was released in March 1980, I never heard it until about two years later. What fighting-hole I was in at the time, I … Continue reading Mercy
My Cousin Elmo says, "I've been banned from social media because I don't want to worship 'Saint Floyd of Fentanyl.'"
My Cousin Elmo says, "A big nose is no excuse for not wearing a mask. After all, I still wear underwear every day."
My Cousin Elmo says, "Jus' had my first shot. Gonna have a second as soon as the cocktail server comes back."
Watercolor, 9 x 12 inches
My Cousin Elmo says, "I never realized how long a minute was until I started exercising."
It has been at least twenty years since I have read “Riders of the Purple Sage,” by Zane Grey. It is a great book, full of adventure, and fills one’s head with all sorts of imaginings and pictures. One thing the book is not – sexual. I hate seeing reviews where the person pulls a … Continue reading Beyond The Purple Sage
budding aspen tree is not very interested in birds in its branches
My Cousin Elmo says, "If I want the opinion of someone who chases a ball for a living like LeBron James, I'll ask my dog."
My Cousin Elmo says, "So if I wear two pairs of swim trunks, I can pee in the pool all summer, right?"
My Cousin Elmo says, "They said all I needed was to wear a mask to enter the store. They lied. Everyone else had clothing on."
On March 22, I posted a fiction story called "Consent," about the US Postal Services app, "Informed Delivery," spying on a person. Now, this has come to light, as reported by Yahoo News. The US Postal Service is tracking social media posts as part of a secret program searching for “inflammatory” messages. The program, known as … Continue reading When Fiction Becomes Reality
This world is not my reality. I come from another time, another place, different from this one. First, let me say that I use the words "man," "his," and "he," because from where I originate, those are proper pronouns for the male of my species. Please feel free to substitute the 'pronoun' of your liking … Continue reading Reality
so invisible am I that I cannot behold my own broken reflection
My Cousin Elmo says, "If kingdoms are ruled by kings and empires are ruled by emperors, then countries..."
It doesn't take very much to leave me feeling accomplished. It was early still when I began working on the front yard sprinklers, which still need more adjusting before they stop watering the sidewalk and driveway. By the time the sun fully crested the mountains to my east, it was time to head inside and … Continue reading Accomplished
My Cousin Elmo says, "Silly me, I thought changing the picture on a pancake mix's box was going to bring about World peace."
My Cousin Elmo says, "My wife asked me to take her someplace expensive. I took her to the lumber yard."
Though hundreds of miles and four-and-a-half decades from where I am now, this tale of murder and the hunt for justice within one family hits close to my childhood. Mummified remains, covered in a quicklime mixture, were found along the North Canadian River, near Jones, Oklahoma, on April 18, 1980. Investigators learned that the victim, … Continue reading Call Her ‘Lime Lady’ No More
My Cousin Elmo says, "The only reason God created the monkey is that He was disappointed in the man."
My Cousin Elmo says, "I don't slur my words -- I speak in cursive."
My wife sleeps in the master bedroom, I sleep in the second guest room across the hallway. Before you ask, let me explain – I have night terrors that are often violent, and I have come close to physically injuring her while in this state. We get up at about the same time each morning … Continue reading Duel
Chalk and ink, 9 x 12 inches
My Cousin Elmo says, "Land O' Lakes removed the Native American Woman, but kept the land."
Watercolor, 9 x 12 inches
Sorting out my mind is how I've spent this morning. It began when I woke and clawed from between the sheets. It's what I call a 'Fuji Film moment;' bright, vivid colors that are not there but real nonetheless. I say Fuji Film because before digital, there was only emulsion film, and the one that … Continue reading Fuji Film Moments
Chalk, 9 x 12 inches
My Cousin Elmo says, "The reason Mayberry was so peaceful is that no one was married, and the one guy that was stayed drunk and slept in jail."
Watercolor and ink, 8 1/2 x 11
“Believe it or not, that’s a Lion’s Mane mushroom,” our guide said, right before it stood fully erect and growled.
My Cousin Elmo says, "While I can't dance very well, I do the Moon-Walk better than Michael Jackson when I step in dog crap."
Watercolor and ink, 8 1/2 x 11
She said to me, “I feel dead inside.” “So do I,” I returned. We held each other's hand. That night she had sex with my best friend.
The farmer looked at his son, knowing the boy had no future. He’d been starved for air at birth, leaving him slow-in-the-head. It was the year 1892, modern times, with places one could leave an imbecile child. Family, town folk, preachers, and doctors all said to put the child away, but he couldn’t, such was … Continue reading Imbecile Child
My Cousin Elmo says, "Does Major League Baseball require a photo ID to pick up game tickets or buy a beer? Asking for a friend."
You can’t help my isolation You can’t help the fear that it brings You can’t help yourself by seeing me You can’t help my fucking want You can’t help my wanting to fuck You can’t help our social distancing You can’t help the hurt that it brings You can’t help your helpless can’t You can't … Continue reading You Can’t Help
My Cousin Elmo says, "I'm called an alcoholic because I drink alcohol, but no one ever says I'm fantastic when I drink Fanta."
As a kid, reading Mark Twain’s, "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn," lead to "Treasure Island" and eventually "Lord of the Flies." But somehow, I always returned to Twain, especially to his shorter tales. One such short story is “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.” In it, the narrator is sent by … Continue reading Sam Clemens, the Dog and a Pig in a Blanket
My Cousin Elmo says, "The Biden Administration is investigating Jesus for violating stay-in-the-tomb orders."
We have a disconnect from logical thought in this country. To wit: President Biden ordered a missile strike on Syria. Shortly after, a Syrian man went on a shooting rampage in the United States. The Department of Homeland Security claims there is no connection between the two events. And yet...Syria. It's as simple as that … Continue reading The More They Lie, the Less Safe I Feel
Thank goodness this week is over. It has been an expensive few days and will probably be worse next week. But for now, the weekend is here, and I can allow myself to relax for a few hours. It began with shorting the light in my garage. I hunted for the problem but eventually had … Continue reading It is Done
My Cousin Elmo says, "I'm not sure what's wrong with my TV, but I jus' saw a straight white male in a commercial."