Whatever it was, it had stepped on his foot, waking him. Still seated on the couch, he looked around in response to the pain. Nothing. “I should go to bed,” he said to the dog as if it might understand. He looked down, but the dog was gone. "Ah, the dog stepped on me," he … Continue reading Infomercial
Helene got out of the shower, toweled off, and wrapped it around her. She was exhausted and laid back on the bed. The phone rang. Helene quickly grabbed it because she didn’t want her family downstairs to pick it up. “Hello?” she said. “Hi, hon,” it was her husband, Dan. “Daniel?” “Yes. Who else would … Continue reading In-flight Phone Call
My Cousin Elmo says, "I've decided to give up 'people' for lent."
My Cousin Elmo says, "Jeep should rename the 'Cherokee' 'Elizabeth Warren' out of respect for the tribe."
Found this on a sticky-note inside a pile of loose papers in a box labeled '1995' with no other annotations. I cannot recall if I wrote it myself or copied it. if it stays, it is love, if it ends, it is a story, if it never was, it is a dream and if never … Continue reading If It…And
My Cousin Elmo says, "I tried to get my shit together, but it was simply too runny."
The newsroom fell silent as the heated exchange grew louder. The two men were practically nose-to-nose arguing over a single word. “I’m tired of the use of the word ‘workers’ when it ought to be ‘employees,’” Bob stated. Rich, the news director, returned, “I don’t care what you think it should be. The guide says … Continue reading In Defense of Employees
My Cousin Elmo says, "I love humanity. It's people that I can't stand."
He had always been the wrong kind-of-citizen, so Tony was not surprised when they arrested and held him for deportation. What did surprise Tony was the number of good citizens the police had rounded up in their recent city-wide sweep. Many were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time when picked up, often … Continue reading Thirteen Weeks
My Cousin Elmo says, "If you repeat a lie long enough, it becomes journalism."
He'd been warned not to go into the old mansion, but Daryl didn’t listen. He was itching to confront whatever the thing was that left people scared. Armed with a thick bible and a wooden crucifix, he entered, intent on learning the secrets of the dilapidated house. Soon Daryl found himself cornered in a hallway … Continue reading Eaters
Nevada Attorney General Aaron Ford wants a judge to throw out a lawsuit filed after the November election that claims voter rolls contain ineligible names and that illegal aliens cast ballots. The state attorney general also said in the motion that the lawsuit wrongly identifies Nevada's secretary of state as the official in charge of … Continue reading Nevada Seeks to Keep Voter Rolls Unchanged
Not only did Barney and Rat work in the same department, but the two Airmen were also housemates, living off base. Between the two of them, Barney had the only working car, a 1972 Nova. After a 14 hour day, Barney was behind the wheel, pushing down the gas pedal, flying through the long loping … Continue reading The Googliwooglie
that is me a 6-year-old boy riding the bicycle with training wheels staring at an old man with white hair on his face sitting alone in the cafe i had never noticed before, and having a profound feeling of I don't know what. that is me a 60-year old man sitting alone in the cafe … Continue reading Time Split
Time to put down some thoughts truths maybe not me not till later another zit I’m too old to be getting zits shake the mental cobwebs loose Internets slow again they’re choking it down neighbor has fired up his truck it’ll run for thirty minutes now the sheets are already dry I jus’ put them … Continue reading Mad Minute of the Mind: 0730-0731 Hours
One day, when my son was four or five years old, we were heading somewhere in town when we came up behind an enclosed cattle truck. Back then, there were no car seat laws or laws demanding that you keep your little one in the back seat of your vehicle. I side-eyed him as he … Continue reading The Cattle Truck
My Cousin Elmo says, "Lost the pizza slicer, so I'm using an old Bryan Adams CD. Cuts like a knife."
I was trying to outrun myself. Tooling along near the Arizona-New Mexico line on I-40, it was approaching nighttime, the sun setting behind me. And since I couldn't find a music station, I had resigned myself to listening to a radio preacher sermonizing on John 21:17... When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon … Continue reading About Those Sheep, Jesus
The eastbound Central Pacific passenger train pulled into Colfax, California, Sunday afternoon, July 27, 1873. Passengers disembarked, walking to the Wells Fargo Depot, where the stage ran twice a day except on Sundays. Driver Bob Scott soon pulled up, and 13 passengers boarded. Wells Fargo Agent William B. Storey loaded more than $7,000 in gold … Continue reading The Mail-Ordered Bride and the Bandit
The war vet lay on the park bench beneath his woolen blanket, half-frozen, half-asleep, and all in on a night terror. Above him in the bare branches of a tree, ink-black feathers reflecting the full moon's shine roosted two-dozen crows. “What should we do?” the veteran screamed as his mind drew him through some unimaginable … Continue reading Inside Joke
While putting on a shirt I hadn't worn in a while, I found this ditty I wrote on my birthday in 2020. Each line is three syllables, so with 20-lines, it adds up to 60... sixties child turns sixty dirt roads to internet gen-Tang drink to moonshine fat chance to skinny tv heroes gone whiner … Continue reading Celebrate
My Cousin Elmo says, "I still don't understand how two-faced people sleep without suffocating."
He’d been crossing the prairie for eight days. Jordie Keller figured he had another couple-dozen more to go before he’d reach Fort Bridger. Head down, he didn’t see it as he trudged up the incline. It was near the top that he saw that he had inadvertently trespassed into an Indian burial ground. Remembering the … Continue reading Still
“Wonder when the train's coming by?” he asked the mule, chuckling at himself for talking to a dumb animal. He thought of the Sunday school story about the ‘ass’ who spoke to its master while trying to protect the man from a vengeful Angel. He wished an Angel would arrive or that the mule would … Continue reading Time
Watercolor and Ink, 8 1/2 x 11 inches
Quietly over the years, the six richest men in the world purchased millions of acres of land throughout the country. They did this with so little distinction that no one noticed. Those who did notice were often self-congratulatory for having such well-known and wealthy neighbors. They never once gave it a second thought beyond this … Continue reading Fallow
We have a problem known as ‘cancel culture.’ Recently actress Gina Carano was fired from her job and Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s social media platform permanently shutdown. This isn’t the first time. The tech giants have ‘canceled’ President Trump, several of his supporters, and cut power to several ‘right-wing’ platforms like Parler. In Carano’s case, … Continue reading Correctthink is Here
My Cousin Elmo says, "They call it a 'seat warmer,' because 'rear defrost' was already taken."
The struggle for liberty wasn't real to people when masks were mandated or when social distancing was approved, and self-isolation was lauded as the ‘new normal.’ The struggle didn't seem to matter to one-half of the nation, as it learned that there were ‘election irregularities,’ and discovered that national elections could be rigged in favor … Continue reading Futile
My Cousin Elmo says, "Have a 'good day' sounds so friendly, but saying 'enjoy the next 24 hours' seems threatening."
My Cousin Elmo says, "You know it's cold out when you step in dog shit and roll your ankle."
People keep sending me bit-and-pieces of information to put together like a jigsaw puzzle, and while a bunch of it is official-looking documents, it's the photographs that best explain what seems to be happening in our nation's capital. Note the officer between the two groups. My assertion is that the one attending the Biden/Harris … Continue reading Chasing a Conspiracy Theory
They had found the cave while foraging. It was tucked in the crags of a high cliff wall, accessible only by climbing. That was 1,115-years ago, and they made it their home. They decorated it with charcoal drawings and colored them using the natural flora found in the lower basin. Over time, the tribe grew, … Continue reading The Coming of Ancient Man
My wife is mad at me because I cannot control my tongue when it comes to bad drivers, and by saying ‘bad,’ I mean STUPID. Here is the situation: it’s a four-lane roadway, the speed limit is 55 miles-per-hour, and in the slow lane is a dually pick up truck doing only 50 mph, and … Continue reading Zippy and His Big Mouth
Mental health is such a tricky thing and after watching two disturbing videos yesterday, I lost control of mine. The first video, about Anne Frank who hid from the Nazis in a secret room with her family for over two years. The other, about Elisa Lam who in 2013 disappeared and was later found drowned … Continue reading Mind Passages
He lost nearly everyone, some to the virus, others to the vaccine. Now, Travis was forcibly removed from his house to a government relocation camp. Quickly, Travis figured out how to escape the compound. He immediately disappeared into the mountainous terrain of the high desert. Soon he regretted his decision as starvation had taken hold … Continue reading Black Horse
Mom loved her pulp mags. We always had four or five issues on the coffee and side tables next to our couch. One article I read when I was 11 was about Sister Aimee McPherson, an evangelist and founder of the Four Square Church. The story horrified me because, as I remember it, she burned … Continue reading Another Memory Slip
It wasn’t until they had both cleared the town and were in an open field that it came to his mind that he might be chasing a shadow, so he stopped as the hooded man continued. No longer being pursued, the hooded man stopped and looked back, lowered his hood, revealing himself to be a … Continue reading Recognition (5/5)
Time trouble comes from not fully understanding how our perception can be distorted. For instance: Marilyn Monroe and Queen Elizabeth of England were born in 1926, and yet we think of one as an old woman and the other, a sex symbol. Anne Frank and Rev. Martin Luther King were each born in 1929, making … Continue reading Trouble with Time
For months, he battled the ‘demons of the mind’ as he called them. They came, and they went, and he continued to function despite the frightening rapidity of their occurrences. One morning he hiked to a nearby town. It was abandoned and had been for some time, but it was still the best place to … Continue reading Recognition (4/5)
My Cousin Elmo says, "A dyslexic man walks into a bra..."
Soon his mental wanderings became worse. He’d find himself having arguments with nearby trees, and once he believed himself to be playing the harmonica, only to awaken to see his pistol in his hand. “Was I thinking of killing myself or something?” he asked. The thought frightened him so much that he decided to not … Continue reading Recognition (3/5)
The old car, an abandoned station wagon, was now his home. It sat in a copse of trees, on a slight hill near a creek. Over the two years that he’d been there, he’d pulled out the seats and the steering wheel and added whatever materials he could find from his surroundings. It was there … Continue reading Recognition (2/5)
My Cousin Elmo says, "If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a chicken according to fact-checkers."
He knew his mind was beginning to slip. Three years of solitude does that even to the strongest of people. It began with the first recurring nightmare. It was set back in the time before. In it, he’d fallen asleep in the front seat of his car and was startled awake by a sudden and … Continue reading Recognition (1/5)
Here am I, Lord. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. But I drink some And cuss a bunch. So send me. Would He? Probably not.
Whatever happened, happened quickly and without warning. It left the world filled with things that were once human that now feed on anything that makes the slightest noise. When he can, Bill listens to an old Walkman he found, with its single cassette tape, ‘The Shaggs, Philosophy of the World.’ It is not his favorite kind … Continue reading Hush
So someone is still looking into voting irregularities in Nevada. They claim this is part of the contract between Dominion Voting Systems Inc. and the State of Nevada, Pages 3 and 4, Section 8 and 9: 8. Confidential Information. Customer acknowledges that the Software and related documentation (collectively, the ''Information") (i) constitutes confidential and proprietary … Continue reading Possible Dominion Voting Systems Contract
My Cousin Elmo says, "If the number of Executive Orders you've signed exceed the number of days you've been in office, you might be a Dictator."
Bored after nine-months of quarantine, Brody slipped out of his house and into a nearby vacant field. And like he used to, Brody took his binoculars. Sitting quietly, enjoying the sun and breeze while bird watching, Brody was alarmed at the sight of a drone dancing along the treetops on the other side of the … Continue reading Bird Watcher
Shortly after boot camp, I saw an article in a magazine about this 'poor guy,' who only had a van to live in, spending his time fishing to eat. “What a life!” I thought. Eventually, I altered that ‘story,' making it mine. It included moving to the big island of Hawai’i, peddling a rickshaw bicycle, … Continue reading Valuing Fantasies
“I don’t want to hit it,’ Darwin said. “You have to,” his supervisor said, “It’s part of the program. Besides, it’s only a robot.” “Yeah,” Darwin countered, “What if it’s as smart or even smarter than they say it is?” “Remember Asimov's First Rule?” the supervisor asked. “Yes,” Darwin answered. “Repeat it to me,” the … Continue reading First Rule
For 20-years I've been blogging and not once has anyone from my home-area ever joined in this task. And while he is not joining me, per se, I am happy to say that I can no longer say I am alone at this. Please welcome my long-time friend Rick, and please follow his endeavor... Yesterday … Continue reading I Am Not Alone
My Cousin Elmo says, "Because of COVID-19, my garbage bin gets to go out more than me."
My Cousin Elmo says, "Congratulations, you've made it one-twelfth of the way through 2021."
He did everything correctly after the world went to hell. He made it to his initial ‘bug-out’ site and reorganized himself before heading off on his 400-mile journey home. By the end of the week, he had started traveling at night, avoiding towns, stopping during the day to sleep. Three months later, he came to … Continue reading Number 272