Suddenly, there were lights flashing in my rear view mirror and soon a female state trooper walked up to my window, demanding, “License, insurance and registration, please.”

I handed them to her before she asked, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

“No idea, ma’am,” I answered.

“Distracted driving – using your cellphone while operating a motor vehicle.”

“I wasn’t using my cellphone.”

“I saw you.”

“No you didn’t, ma’am.”

“I saw you look down, twice.”

“Yeah – yeah you did.”

“Where’s your phone?

“Zipped up in the chest pocket of my bib-overalls, ma’am.”


“Really – and as you can see my sweatshirt is zipped up over it. Wanna look, ma’am?”

“No. If you weren’t looking at your cellphone, what were you looking at then?”

“My fly is unzipped. You wanna look, ma’am?”

“No, thank you,” she grinned before returning to her cruiser, adding, “Have a good morning, sir.”

I leaned my seat back, zipped myself up, returned to the upright position, and then waited for her to pull away before I continued on my way to work.

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