The polar vortex is creating so much ice that even the sun slipped over the horizon.
You can't fool me: racecar spelled backwards is still racecar spelled backwards.
At one time, the telephone used be tied to the wall and people were unbound.
The one day I wear dirty underwear, I get in a traffic accident.
Pam watched her mom, guided by their good friend Ruth, walk down the steps and get in the car. She returned to front door, wanting to get out of the cold, only to look back as the car backed out of the drive. “It’s nice of Ruth to give me a little break,” Pam smiled, … Continue reading Cheeto-head
I certainly thought adulting would involve more sex.
Most people suffer from stuffy-heads, others, 'stuffy-asses,' because of their heads.
One of my writing/blogging friends, Stella wrote this very sexual free-verse poem, titled 'Mindfulness,' and my dirty mind exploded. Once I picked the pieces up and stuffed them back in my pants, I sat down to pen a response... 'Hot,’ but I meant ‘HOT!’ She wrote a poem, feelings Put to words, that caused A … Continue reading How Blue
If you're finished with it, may I please have my 'smirk' back?
Winnowing removes the wheat from the chaff and so does the truth.
Jesus was not an unplanned pregnancy. God knew about it long before telling Mary.
Sol Jones, considered a halfwit by many, kept his head down as he rode his horse through Reno. It had been five, long and hard, years since he’d been here and things had changed in that time period. Soon he was north of town, nearing Verdi, following the Central Pacific Railroad track, the same outfit … Continue reading The Ballad of Sol Jones
I hate being bi-polar. It's awesome!
Once, I stood before God, Yet this soul has forgotten. All memories having ceased But that seed carried in me, Because the heart could not. Be happy and rejoice, for My soul stood before God! And yet... The dirt poor and dirt rich, To dirt we all shall return. Doesn't this sound unfair? For that … Continue reading My Soul has Forgotten
He blinked hard, as the light hurt his eyes. Vernor Vinge couldn’t help but look, it was the brightest, most pure light that the science fiction writer had ever seen. Then he felt the words, “come here,” more than heard them. Vernor followed the instructions, stepping through the far end of the wiring. As he … Continue reading The Singularity
Touching and humorous. Two thumbs up.
From monsoon-type storms all night to 108-degrees by mid-morning. That is the life of a desert tramp, who for the most part had no idea where he was on any map. Before each night, I’d lay out a stick or look for a point-of-reference to help me maintain my direction of travel. Since the sun came … Continue reading For a Drink of Muddy Water
Perhaps, one day... After I'm dead, gone, Somebody'll discover All that I've written. Perhaps they might say, "This guy was a great writer -- Too bad he didn't live to see himself Get famous or make money at it." Perhaps, one day... After I'm dead, gone. Perhaps. Perhaps.
The first original Reno Rodeo showing, "Carnival of the Range," was held July 1st through the 5th, 1919. This year, the 100th anniversary, is a ten-day run from June 20th to the 29th. Nevada Writers Hall of Fame writer, Western author and artist Will James drew the original souvenir poster for the rodeo. I pulled this from … Continue reading Lost Opportunity of this Century
like a mountain giant waking stone-stiff and re-entering days after thousand-year slumber we now wonder what we have missed ignoring the joy of morning
I left Facebook a couple of days ago and its stock has gone up. Coincidence? I think not.
“The problem with books is that they end,” writer, author and all-round world champion blogger, Victoria Ray wrote recently. I didn’t immediately read her entire post as I was too busy disagreeing with her supposition. Her words tossed me back into my ninth-year of life, when for Christmas someone, (more than likely a gift from … Continue reading Yet That’s Where the Adventure Begins
On a low hill in the back of the Jackson City cemetery is a nearly forgotten grave. And yet the bones beneath its plain marker shows it belongs to one of the most famous treasure hunters of the 1960s. Frank L. Fish was very successful at finding treasure, but his contribution to the history of … Continue reading The Vague and Mysterious Death of Frank Fish
The common law of ‘Shopkeeper’s Privilege,’ is set out in NRS 205.220 and NRS 205.240 and allows retailers to detain suspected shoplifters. The detainment must occur on store property and the merchant can only hold the suspect for a reasonable amount of time, i.e., until the police arrive. It is ‘Shopkeeper’s Privilege,’ on which Walmart’s … Continue reading Walmart’s ‘Receipt Check’ Bad for Customer Relations
Since the federal government is shutdown, I think I'll go visit Area 51.
Convicted of butchering an abusive ‘John’ by slicing him open, placing a cheap wind-up clock in his bowels, Nanette crudely stitched him up, waiting to see if time heals all wounds. It doesn't. Now she endures time, day-dreaming in nightmare-fashion, of that 'final ten-foot' of life. She lacks the knife, but in her minds-eye, she takes … Continue reading Dog Food
Name one corporation with 800-thousand non-essential employees on its payroll. And...go!
Ignorance breeds false moral superiority.
Nothing messes up a Friday like realizing it's only Wednesday.
A new study finds that standing still while smirking and wearing a red hat causes no real harm.
A picture's only worth a thousand words because everyone sees something different in it.
'Smirking,' is a Facecrime. Source: George Orwell's '1984,' coming true in a nation near you.
god made of metal fell down in a heaping crash so much for the 'Tin Man'
Dream of a world where cancer and addiction clinics are as available as abortion clinics are now.
A day on one of Jupiter's 79 moon lasts about five-hours, the same amount of time as a the weekend on Earth.
Government shutdowns work better when it's the politician that doesn't get paid.
For god-sake, if you're gonna wear a MAGA hat, don't smirk, it makes you look threathening!
Marked safe today from White boy smirking.
It’s jarring to wake up in the middle of a muddy field, barefoot, three blocks from home and without the slightest idea about how I’d gotten there. Suddenly, a dark figure appeared: “It’s about time. I’ve been calling to you for the last three nights.” “Who the hell are you?” “My name’s Weir Legion.” “So … Continue reading Muddy Feet
You meet the nicest people in government soup lines.
Read a report that says drinking coffee and whiskey are both bad for me, so I've decided to give up reading.
Who needs a part-time, low-wage job when you can stand in line for free government cheese?
There's a new flavor in town called Beto O'Rourke -- the new Barack Obama in vanilla sauce.
stick and stone make fire one for the pit, the other for the flame choose which one wisely
Anything's possible with coffee and a typewriter.
If it was meant to be, you can't screw it up; if you screw it up, that's the way it was meant to be.
People refuse to look shit up before reposting on Facebook, but will spend several minutes taking a test to see what sort of potato chip they are.
There are no canaries in the Canary Islands. Same thing goes for the Virgin Islands. No canaries, either.
The kids played in the open field beyond my fence line. I could hear them yelling and laughing as they used a stick as a bat and small rocks as balls. Every once in a while I'd catch the sound of stone cracking against wood and the kids whooping it up. I wanted to go … Continue reading Dream Rocks
I try never to think before I speak. I like to be as surprised as everyone else.
Carrot juice might be good for the eyes, but whiskey will double your vision.
I can remember when the Internet was used to escape the real world; now we use the real world to escape the Internet.
It's okay to like a woman whose hour-glass figure holds a little more sand.
A proud papa moment: complained to my adult son that I had sprained my wrist, he told me to stop whacking-off so much.
Woman are only helpless when their finger nail polish is wet; even then they can still squeeze the trigger.
“Ah, shit! Jeans or sweats?” he calls out. Followed by, “Tennis shows or boots?” “Sweat shirt or jacket?” he asks. Next, “Cowboy or baseball hat?” “Bare handed or gloves?” he wants to know. All questions a good stock man must ask himself each time a cow or three escapes the fence. “Too hell with it! … Continue reading A Scene from Ranch Life
Toxic masculinity -- because when the shit hits the fan, no one wants to hide behind a feminist.
Now he was not only broke, but broken, too. That’s the thought Richard Berger came to as he struggled to climb out of the snow bank he’d been tossed into following the brutal attack. He was on his way home, walking across town, when he happened on two men coming towards him. He tried to … Continue reading For One Bullet
My wife came rushing into the room after hearing a loud 'pop.' She thought I'd finally pulled my head outta my ass.
My DNA results are back. They say unemployment runs in the family.
I disagree with Trump grounding Pelosi's overseas trip using military aircraft. I'd have waited till she got there, then canceled her return trip.
Can 'no collusion' be cured with a colonoscopy? Asking for a friend.
the gathering Elk herd echo of a twig breaking beautiful thunder
Poor Thomas' Almanac for January 17: Benjamin Franklin was born on this date in 1706. He's known for inventing the 'lightening rod.' He would later become a lightening rod during the American Revolution.
Media speak: "Police shoots, kills man with 'no active warrants,'" means an officer shot and killed innocent man.
The red Porsche was already moving faster than the posted speed limit, but Alan didn’t care as he pressed the accelerator to the floor. He wanted to see what the stolen car could do along the vacant flats of the Mohave Desert. Alan saw the briefest flash of black and white of a California Highway … Continue reading Rear-view Mirror
My wife says I'm not allowed to go to 'gender reveal' events after I took my pants off thinking we were playing some sort of party game.
Organizing guru Marie Kondo say it's best to keep no more than 30 books in your home, but no one needs that sort of negativity.
UPDATE 2: Crescent City Police say Cramer returned home on her own and is safe. UPDATE 1: Cramer's cellphone's been tracked to an apartment complex on Gary Street in Crescent City. Police have been informed. No word yet if they've investigated this latest development. Your help's needed in locating a missing and possibly endangered teen from … Continue reading Missing Crescent City Teen Sought
"I'm tired of you," he said, "Be gone." I stared at him, not believing what he'd demanded. "Be gone!" he shouted. Without a word, I turned away from his reflection.
Nancy Pelosi had a group of illegal aliens arrested for camping on her property. Evidently, she doesn't believe in 'do as I say' as much as she believes in 'do as I say.'
Leaving Nome’s safety Through the pass -- to the gold fields beyond Old Man Winter waits Jack London -- Robert Service Could a pen be mightier than the sluice?
I don't have ducks or rows. But I do have squirrels and they're all over the place.
I can remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject. Now, if you mention Botox, no one raises an eyebrow.
Instead of spendng $5 billion to build a wall, let's use the money to buy Mexico, renovate it, then flip it.
Sometimes, someone comes along making your heart race, leaving you sweaty and breathless. I call'em the police.
The woman won't date guys who live with their parents, but will date one who lives with his wife.
Not to brag or anything, but I'm far more inappropriate in person.
The difference between men and women is that when she says, 'Smell this...,' it usually smells good.
Today's goals: coffee and kindness, and my cup's empty.
Tangled deep within sheets, blankets, bodies warm in slumber. There are the usual noises, but then there comes that eerie sound outside, wind blowing snow against the house, creaking lumber, so singular and out of sorts, only those in the know understand the angled blow isn’t done in harm, with its raking pound, which imagination … Continue reading Night Storm
The best way to watch the movie, 'The Bird Box,' is while wearing a blindfold.
When talking about results remember that the last thing to grow on a fruit tree is its fruit.
"Twenty-ninteen is gonna be a fierce year." "How so?" "I'm finally gonna toss out all the rules and simply be true to myself." "That doesn't make any sense." "It does, if you think about it. For years, I've been living with rules that do nothing but bog me down." "Like what?" "Like not worrying about who the … Continue reading Fierce
As a kid the dark use to scare me. Now, I'm afraid of the electric bill.
People who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by those who have nothing to say.
Dog's can't operate an MRI, but cat's can. And that's an altogether different story.
If after a long horseback ride, your butt hurts, your stirrups are too long; your knees hurt, stirrups are too short. But if everything hurts, they're jus' right.
There was a time when I didn't find my shit very interesting. But now that I'm locked up in this insane asylum, I find it of extreme interest. No shuttlecock, cards or checkers for me. Finger painting and pitching practice are my newest hobbies. And as soon as they remove this jacket, I'll be getting … Continue reading Mental Shit
I found my toothbrush on the bathroom floor again. My extra-sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use another toothpaste.
If you sleep with a centerfold, expect to get a paper cut.
'A way out,' isn't a good answer when asked what a person should look for in a relationship.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the end of the 'blonde' joke as we know it.
Mountain wind's Blow roughly Through trees, Breaking, frozen Bows, falling, Losing to Gravity’s law. Scattered atop Snowy abundance. Bundles gathered. Kindling nighttime’s Warming hearth.
Does wanting a Swatch watch constitute a midlife crisis? Asking for a friend.
I asked Alexa, 'What do women want?' She hasn't shut up, yet!
Democrats don't want the southern border wall built because they know that if they accidentally kick their soccer ball over it, they might not get it back.
If a woman says, 'do what you want,' don't. Don't move, don't breathe, don't blink. In fact, play dead.
Okay. So, now I know where I stand in the frame of life... A friend calls me to say 'good morning,' but that's all they can do, because they have to take a shit soooo bad that they have to hang up and hit the stall. At least I was Number One, before their Number … Continue reading Number One
Two years ago came the giving up on politics, acknowledging certain human flaws, finding dishonesty and a broken heart, understanding that half want to rewrite the start, and that preferences are not for the rule of law, but rather the dirty tricks, an ugly and temporary fix, exactly where Liberty and Socialism part. it was … Continue reading Impasse
A Martian couple were motoring by the Earth when she looked over and said, "Look, honey, your family." He responded, "Yeah, and all of them in-laws."
Come -- be my little play date We’ll swing high and dance in puddles Then nap like children
in the morning while we kiss quiet surrender for an hour before the single word
My wife wants me to quit drinking, 'cause the more I drink, the more I talk. I smiled at her as said, 'That's called pintification.'
OCD is at its worst when tasked with washing all the white clothes, then realizing you're wearing white underwear.
short but very pointed busy draining a crowded swamp hatred fills Chamber
Being called 'crazy' isn't all it's cracked up to be, after all one must compete with California for the title.
Narcissist at work, Construction is underway, Me, myself, terribly flawed.
I can't be the only one who find's Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's name hard to say. So I'm compromising: Alexandria Occassional-Cortex.
My alone time is actually for everyone's safety.
not the sound, but those drops of rain nursing Mother Earth’s burnt skin drown the dry and scatter the ants some ebbing from umbrellas yet met face up by another
I wanted my wife to wake up with a smile on her face. I'm not allowed to have markers in the house anymore.
We all have that one friend who makes everything out to be sexual. If you don't know who that friend is -- then it's probably you.
My daughter-in-law, Alex Lane has let me know that Reno, Nevada has lost yet another radio 'old-timer.' Alex worked with Dennis Romero as they aired the local daily show, "Gun Talk." Dennis was about a month short of his 70th birthday and according to a post on his Facebook page, he passed away January 3, … Continue reading Dennis Romero, 1949-2019
Water color and ink, 8 1/2" x 11"
When camping in a park, a tuba left sitting on the picnic table, ensures the sites on either side will remain empty.
Coffee's on. Come in. Sit down.
“SHIT!” I screeched at the top of my lungs as I found myself again seated before my keyboard. My shout scared the dog’s as they slept peacefully on the bed behind me, and they scattered, heading for the outside. “Sorry,” I whispered through gritted teeth, “but it’s the same thing every year as I silently … Continue reading The Fleshing Out
My facial expressions need to start using their inner voices.
A mathematician celebrates 4/20 on 1/5 because he knows how to do fractions.
Do like Jesus, if you can't turn the tables, flip them over instead.
She danced like nobody was watching, and once they weren't watching, she left her date, a guy she couldn't stand and went home to her husband.
While I’m used to my night terrors, having a good old-fashioned nightmare is rare and even more unusual is the occasional bad dream. This bad dream began as a stress-test of sorts as I was unable to take a shower ahead of an important gathering. Then… “Eighty-eight and 89 are problem children,” said the unrecognizable … Continue reading An App for That
I watched the video of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez dancing. The last time I saw a Commie dance, it was Jane Fonda's exercise video in 1982.
It's a proven fact that having sex on a regular basis helps improve the memory. Hope everyone has a wonderful 2009.
An atheist once told me that the only reason Jesus walked on the water is because he couldn't swim.
Every time I hear the words, 'I'm new here...' I wanna say, 'Keep coming back, it works!'"
After watching that video of Elizabeth Warren drinking a beer, all I could think was, 'alcohol abuse.' And it looked like such good beer, too.
Friends who stick with you in your darkest hours, probably didn't pay their electric bill either.
“Hello?” I called out to the glowing eyes. “Hello,” growled the Big Bad Wolf as he entered my campfires glow. “Are you lost or something?” “Something,” he answered, before asking, “Aren’t you not afraid?” “Not one bit.” “Why not?” “I am master and you are subject.” “I don’t understand.” “You will,” I responded. “I’m looking … Continue reading Plot Device
Turning on the lights and siren after losing a drag race is bad sportsmanship.
This is a actual blog header which reads, “My First Love: Part Twelve.” Say what? I love the mashing up of numbers in this way and I'm still chuckling.
I've finally found a woman that doesn't argue with me all the time. Her name is 'Alexa.'
Craziness, screams, fear Memories bring night terrors. Fight or flight effect. Stand the bloodied ground, flee for one’s life. Deep sleep, a blessed retreat.
This haiku is for you. Wallet empty, but the heart is full. It’s written with love.
Trust those once flying birds' Sudden disappearances. Not the blue clear skies above.
Who needs sunshine. I've got moonshine.
Usually, I don't do New Year's resolutions, but after last year -- what could it hurt?
A K-9 patrol unit alerted on my truck. The dog wanted to go for a ride.
My grandma had a silly saying when things didn't work out: 'Ah, fart in a fruitcake.' Tried it once -- didn't work out.
I slept with a girl on the monkey bars jus' because she was hanging around.
As a piss poor poet laureate, I'm always one verse away from a nervous breakdown.
Perhaps my mother's spirit of thrift found its way to me early New Years Eve morning. More on that after a little back story on her 'thriftiness.' My Erector set wasn’t even a week old before I ripped the plastic window on the box. Mom was there when it happened and I asked her if … Continue reading Dust Cover Recovery
I'm so financially well off that I've managed to blur the distinction between poor and broke.
Seems as I can remember last year as if it were jus' yesterday.
Our big New Year's Eve celebration was to Red Robin in the early afternoon. We learned that they have instituted a new 'napkin' system; paper towel rolls at each table. My wife took a picture to send to her sister. Their mother, Helen, was a BIG fan of the Robin. They both agreed she'd be … Continue reading Red Robin Goes Full Redneck
“Effing buzzards,” I complained as I glance skyward hoping to catch sight of one. They were nothing knew, in fact I generally welcomed their company along with the occasional condor, hawks, ravens and crow. But because of the hot sun, a lack of decent water and an inability to catch a ride, the straight trek … Continue reading Visitor on the Wing