A few years back, I took a good friend of mine to the local mall, south of town. She told me that she had to return a pair of jeans because she found them torn and faded.
After she showed me, I tried explaining, “They’re distressed jeans, they’re meant to be like that. Didn’t you look at them before buying them?”
She didn’t answer me about ‘looking before buying.’ Instead, she focused on a single word.
“They’re distressed?” she squeaked. “What about me?”
I tried not to chuckle as I quipped, “You’ve gotta be mortified.”
“Mortified? I’m distressed, not dead!”