Two things I've come to really value as I've aged: Two-ply toilet paper and comfortable shoes.
The clerk at the DMV called out, '8-7-6.' I jumped up and shouted, '5-3-oh-9.' No one got it, including the security guard who reminded me, 'Use your inner-voice next time.'
'The Gospel According to Luke' is the story of Jesus Christ. It consists of 24 chapters; one for each day of December up to Christmas eve.
It wasn’t like I meant to pass through my estranged wife’s home town at the time, but it was the only way I knew of getting to Julian and to the eastern side of the Salton Sea. The beginning of July is nice in the higher elevations, but dropping down through Anza-Borrego, it became ungodly … Continue reading Barbara of the Slabs
The video header reads: “Pianist plays Chopin in the Himalayas at 16, 000 feet.” My first reaction, “At that elevation, it must've been breathtaking.”
The 'bullet bra' fell out of popularity when politicians began confusing 'second base' with the 'second amendment.'
Let's form a caravan, head for Disney World and remember to put the kids up front when we get there.
Irony is knowing that some of the same people who eat only non genetically modified foods are also the same people who smoke genetically modified marijuana.
My hobo-camp had been set-up in a cluster of trees and brush between the Interstate and the frontage road. I intended to stay put for couple of days to give my tired ‘dogs’ a chance to recuperate. Comfortable and secluded, save for the sound of vehicles racing by, I spread out on my sleeping bag … Continue reading Combine
All I said was that if cats and dogs can get along, so can Democrats and Republicans. Accidentally started an argument over who gets to be which animal.
The trucker dropped me off someplace east of Tinker Air Force Base in Oklahoma. He was turning south and I was heading north towards Wyoming. It had been only three days since I began 'hoofing' it from Muskogee across Indian Territory. I’d only managed the one ride that took me to the point at which I … Continue reading Catching Up on Childhood
It was about 9:30 at night, dark had jus’ fallen as I shouldered my backpack and dashed across the train yard in Sparks. I tossed my pack into the open box car, grabbed the iron ladder next to the opening and flung myself inside. It was the first time I had ever hopped a train … Continue reading Bull of the Tracks
A couple of days after Halloween, my six-year-old neighbor came over and sat on the sidewalk beside me. He wanted to tell me all about his ‘big adventure’ on the night of the annual candy-grab. The day of Halloween, he and his brother saw me as I was heading across the street to check the … Continue reading Rock Candy
It had been a sleepless night for Toby as he wandered through his family's home worried. Every few minutes he’s look out a window and confirm that the shadowy figure was still there, standing at the edge of his perfectly manicured lawn. An hour before sunrise, he’d finally had enough. He went to his study … Continue reading Vu~anpaiakirā
UPDATE: Kelly has been found deceased. The Washoe County Search and Rescue unit located her remains near Double Diamond and Terabyte in south Reno on December 7, close to the area in which she disappeared. Foul-play is not suspected. Autopsy findings are pending. Kelly Trethan, 36, left her apartment, off Double-R Blvd., in south Reno, Nevada, … Continue reading Reno Woman Missing, May Be Endangered
“You certainly bring spice to my life,” her husband stated. “Oh, you’re so sweet,” she said before asking, “What kind -- pumpkin spice?” “No,” he answered, “Old Spice.”
Many of the same American's, who yesterday 'celebrated thankfulness,' are also the same one's trampling each other today for store bargains.
Stella started it... Popped my plastic Pez, Shot a candy wad in her face. She says she doesn't want children.
There's only ever been one Black Friday event that's offered you a real-life saving deal.
My stomach IS flat -- it's jus' that the 'L' is silent.
I ate so much turkey on Thanksgiving day that when I fell asleep, I thought I was going to wake up on Christmas morning.
She walked over to the popcorn maker in the waiting area and got herself a bag. She also poured herself a cup of coffee. As she did this, I took the opportunity to check her out. I’d seen her sitting at one of the tables doing what I believe was some sort of school work. … Continue reading Boots!
So, I took my wife’s car in to have the tires rotated. It was a two-hour wait. “No problem,” I said as I held up the book I had with me. My plan was to sit quietly and read, but the kids in the waiting area had other plans. Instead, I walked across the parking … Continue reading Two-bit Boo-boo
A pharmacist employed at the corner drug store came to work only to find a guy leaning against a nearby wall. Curious, he asks the newly hired clerk, “So, what’s up with that guy?” The new clerk responds, “Well, he came in this morning to get something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the … Continue reading The Cure for a Common Cough
She knocked politely on the door and waited. Something move in the peripheral of her right eye, but when she turned her head to look, nothing was there. “Hello,” the woman said as she opened the door, “You must be Amelia, here about the maid job.” “Yes, ma’am.” “Well, come on in. My name is … Continue reading The Problem with Today’s Youth
Having lost my parents, my only brother and a sister, I tend to feel deeply for friends and family who suffer the passing of a family member. There is so much to do when a loved one dies, that the normal activities in life can feel overwhelming. And since I'm unable to be present and act as … Continue reading Lori Ann Love, 1958-2018
Charlie sat on the bench in the Walmart waiting to pick up his medication. Next to him sat an elderly lady, well older than Charlie, and she was a chatter-box. He patiently listen as the woman talked about her life and all the exciting adventures she’d lived through. But what she mostly talked about was … Continue reading Like the Volcano
The dig was going along swimmingly for the old archaeologist. Soon, he’d have all the answers to the age-old question that science struggled with for eons: where did man come from? Professor Horatio Goldfarb jus’ didn’t know it yet. Evolution had long ago hypothesized that Homo Sapiens descended from monkeys or apes. 'Old Farb,' as … Continue reading The Last Survivors
He rolled over, stiff and cold from where he’d collapsed the night before. The abandoned house, trashed from its misuses by the other druggies, left a fowl stench in his nose, making him gag. Sid Clayton slowly sat up, hurting and dope sick. He knew he needed to find another fix soon or he’d really … Continue reading Red Rain
My dog and I walk lazily along the lake's sandy shoreline. Screaming her warning, the crow flies in circles below the tree branches. Looking closely, her fledgling chick's on the ground, a snake gliding towards it. A couple walk to a park bench overlooking the water. They sit so uncomfortably close. Then the young man … Continue reading Outing
A rat swallowed his wife’s diamond earring. Upset, the husband hired a man to find and recover the jewel. When the man arrived, he found there were more than one-hundred rats trapped in the cellar. He also saw one rat sitting alone and not interacting with the rest of the mischief. He quickly captured it … Continue reading The Earring and the Rat
The morning air was brisk as he sat in the old rocker on his porch, rifle on his knees and a tin cup filled with warmed coffee. It wasn’t unlike the countless mornings Seamus Dolan had seen in the many years he lived in the cabin on the edge of the redwood forest overlooking the … Continue reading Blood on the Scarecrow
Nine in the morning and the manager twists the knob on the door, officially opening the bank for that day’s business. James Atherton stands patiently waiting and is the first through the door once it's unlocked. “Hi,” the pregnant teller smiles as he approaches the counter, “How can I help you?” “I need the services of … Continue reading Minutes
The Great War, better known today as World War I, came to an end 100-years-ago today at the eleventh hour, of the eleventh day, of the 11th month. The latest figures, which are still being debated show that 116,708 U.S. soldiers died with another 205,690 having been wounded. My Grandpa Bill Shaw, having enlisted while … Continue reading Lest We Forget
My friend, Stella Bailey, who writes free verse poetry at 'Simply Stella,' wrote "Masterpiece of Emotion." It really spoke to me and I envisioned this response: When sleep comes not easily, Scotch poured and at Baldwin, My fingers lightly on the keys, Playing a concert for none. Perhaps... Another one listens at this hour, too. … Continue reading Sleep Comes Not Easily
Some how I became turned around; not lost, but extremely confused. I sat down in the shade of a rock overhang and sipped from my canteen, waiting for the feeling to leave, but it refused. Above me, circled a murder of crows, crying and calling to each other, also in confusion. Suddenly, they went silent … Continue reading Shift
Can you say, "Jus' like Jim Acosta?" I knew you could! It's a rather common occurrence for me -- getting placed in 'FB jail' from time to time. That's where I am after opining that CNN's Jim Acosta physically battered the woman trying to take the White House Press Corps' microphone away from him upon … Continue reading Oopsie! I Did It Again
Here's a compilation of all my thoughts as posted on Facebook throughout the night of the 2018 mid-term elections: “We need less democracy and more Republic.” "This nation has slipped so far from the Constitution that it shows on election night." “That supposed 'Red Wave' has left Nevada drowning in a sea of 'Blue.'” “Bread … Continue reading Thoughts on Nevada’s Midterm Election
My wife is fond of saying, "When you get around to it" or "When I get around to it," so I made her a 'Round To-It' stone. She placed it in her curio cabinet, which I find both cute and precious at the same time. It's so outta place amid the cut crystal, fine china … Continue reading Round-To-It
A few years back, I took a good friend of mine to the local mall, south of town. She told me that she had to return a pair of jeans because she found them torn and faded. After she showed me, I tried explaining, “They’re distressed jeans, they’re meant to be like that. Didn’t you look at … Continue reading A Distressing Conversation
When I was 10-years-old, Grandpa Bill took me to my first cattle auction in Ferndale at the Humboldt County Fair Grounds. Shortly afterwards, I gathered a passel of kids from around my grandparent’s neighborhood and held an auction of my own. “So, who’ll give me fifty cents – fifty-pennies, ten-dimes or two-quarters for Adam?” I … Continue reading Brother for Bid
Watercolor and ink, 8 x 11 1/2.
While still employed at the radio station I had a serious problem with our computers in the newsroom. For some reason, they’d all frozen and no amount of ‘rebooting’ worked to solved the situation. At 1:36 in the morning, I called our corporate ‘IT Specialist.’ It was obvious he was not happy about having to … Continue reading ID-Ten-T Computer Problem
From my notes: "One day after and during a candle-light vigil, a Las Vegas Metro Police Officer scolded a man suspected of dealing drugs: "Can’t you take one day off?"" It was only day two on the job for Las Vegas Metro Police Officer Brady Cook, “I never imagined the second night would end this … Continue reading Las Vegas Shooting: Metro PD Officer Brady Cook
From my notes: "In August the Las Vegas mass murder booked a room at the Blackstone Hotel in Chicago overlooking the park where the Lollapalooza music festival was being held that weekend." The Las Vegas country music festival was supposed to be an annual mother-daughter trip for Malinda Baldridge and her daughter Brenna, “Staying at … Continue reading Las Vegas Shooting: Brenna and Malinda Baldridge
From my notes: "Two sisters of Marilou Danley say that the Las Vegas murderer sent her away so that he could plan the shooting "without interruptions."" A Las Vegas taxi driver who drove five passengers to safety the night of the mass shooting is tired of being called a hero. Cori Langdon in line a … Continue reading Las Vegas Shooting: Cab Driver Cori Langdon
Somedays I don’t think this old heart can take anymore pain and crying really screws with a guy’s masculinity. I say this after learning that yet another friend of mine has passed away. John Wayne Atyeo and I met while he was still operating the recycled waste route in our neighborhood. After 'single-stream’ recycling began … Continue reading John ‘The Duke’ Wayne Atyeo, 1961-2018
From my notes: "Several witnesses, survivors, bystanders and law enforcement officers are still saying there were multiple shooters at the Las Vegas concert." As bullets ripped into country music fans, over 300 people ran a mile to the Las Vegas airport. In doing so they kicked down chain-link fences, climbed through razor wire and were … Continue reading Las Vegas Shooting: Mark Gay and Fred Rowbotham