Sticky Situation

While waiting in my truck at the local grocery store for my neighbor, a Jeep pulled into the spot next to me and a young couple got out. The guy was driving and the woman was on the passenger side, the side closest to me.

She stood there twisting and contorting, trying to see behind her as she ran her left hand over her derriere. Next she checked the seat for whatever it was she was looking for and apparently found nothing.

She quickly returned to her twisting and contorting, announcing aloud, “I dropped my gum and can’t find it,” adding, “I think it’s stuck to my ass.”

Without thinking, I responded, “Nope, I don’t see it.”

She turned, looked at me and smiled. Bending her bejeweled jean rear-end towards me, she asked in a joking way, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied as I turned bright red from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

She smiled, “Thanks,” and laughed as she shut the Jeep door and headed towards her boyfriend.

It was from him that I learned their relationship and he wasn’t the least bit pleasant about it, yelling, “What the hell are you looking at my girlfriend’s ass for?”

“Because he’s yelling at me!” I sarcastically shouted.

My retort caught him off guard and for a few seconds he was quiet, mouth open, but jaw moving. I took that time to slip my truck into gear and drive away from the coming confrontation.

As I zipped across the open parking lot, I looked back to see the woman pointing at her boyfriend laughing like there were no tomorrow. It was also obvious that he was madder than a wet hen.

I sped out of the parking lot, forgetting all about my neighbor, who ended up walking home with two bags of groceries.

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