Its What I Never Knew


Sometimes I find myself completely surprised by the responses I get from articles I’ve posted. For instance,  I wrote and shared an angry ‘obituary,’ in November 2011, for my brother, Adam because neither his widow or children had.

Because of that ‘obituary,’ I’ve learned more about Adam than I ever thought possible. There is the fact that he had a child with a woman while he was in the service.

That child is now a 27-year old man and is my nephew. His mother and I are in contact having spent time sharing our memories of Adam with one another.

Furthermore, I’ve learned of the ‘tender’ side my brother had when it came to romance from a letter I recently received. I feel it’s only right to share it with you this St. Valentines Day:

Dear Tom,

I have just learned of Adam’s death. I am so very heart-sick and sad. I have cried a little all day today. I out of the “blue” today just looked up Adam’s name to see his whereabouts and I just wondered about him. I have very fond, loving, innocent memories of Adam because he was the 1st boy I  kissed.

When I was 15-years-old I met Adam at Camp Marigold, right behind his house there in Klamath, California. That is when we were both so young and innocent. He would try to impress me with his strong muscles and would take me and my brothers and sisters up in the woods. We were the same age, but he had told me he was 18. I learned this later on. At the time of our long family vacation Adam would talk to us girls through the back window of the “Hunting Lodge” cabin at Camp Marigold. I was so impressed with him and how beautiful the redwoods were because I was from San Diego, California. Adam took me on a picnic at “Hidden Beach” which was just past “The Trees of Mystery” and around the bend of the Lagoon pond. Adam made us a lunch and we had a magical, sweet, clean romantic time for 15-year-old kids. He was so funny, sweet and good. I am so sure God will bless him for his gentlemanly behavior.

I was the eldest of 10 kids and my Dad was a California Highway Patrol Officer.  So as all my sisters and brothers were running about Camp Marigold Adam planted a kiss on my lips as I leaned against the cabin, but four of my sisters came out of hiding squealing as they witnessed that tender moment of ours. I was very dismayed at them, but it was probably good they were around.

Adam and I wrote little love letters and sent presents to each other for 3 years by mail. I truly thought I loved him. And i suppose I always will in a very special way. His letters were so very sincere and I would cherish each one as they came in the mail. I would always enjoy writing him back. I think I still have a heart pendant made of Tiger’s eye stone. My father and mother kept me hoping for another vacation at Camp Marigold, but they never made it possible. I have since been there several times throughout the years with my husband and kids. I even looked up in the woods, thinking of Adam. We were not in contact at all when I was married.

I am at least glad that you posted about Adam’s life. Much here I did not know. I did not know how he suffered with depression. At age 19 I was looking at the time to be a cloistered Discalced Carmelite Nun, the ones that wear the conservative brown habit, but God had a different plan for me. While I still am a Discalced Carmelite, I am a 3rd order, which means single or married. (The 1st are the priests and 2nd order are the sisters.) I have been a Carmelite for 30 years, now at age 50. Our vocation is we pray for the world and others.

I was contacted by Adam at two different times after I was already married with two children at the time. I was 22 or so and was conflicted about reciprocating contact. I did not write him back. I am still married and now have four children who are grown. We live in Missoula, Montana. I am glad that you mentioned that Adam was a Catholic as a child. And as you know, I too am a practicing Catholic. I am sure you know that we Catholics believe in Praying for the Dead. Adam was a very, very special person in my life and I am so sure that even though life was difficult for him and he is not “here”, Adam benefits from our prayers. I will have lots and lots of Masses said for Adam. I offered one up today for him.

Thank You, Tom.

Love and Prayers, Theresa

No, Theresa — thank you and God bless!

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