A New Year’s Day Domestic

It was New Year Day and Mary and I had jus’ had an argument about spending money. Little did we know our spat was going to be outdone by our next door neighbors.

They had jus’ come up the steps when the two erupted into a fist fight. He was beating her up in their open doorway as she battled back, trapped under his weight, bouncing her head off the floor.

My immediate reaction was to grab my pistol and head for our front door to put an end to the abuse. However Mary grabbed tight to my arm and pleaded with me not to “do anything stupid.”

Instead of going outside and placing my pistol in his ear as I had intended, she decided to call the Reno police. No sooner did the call get placed, than their front door slammed shut.

Meanwhile, all we could do was listen to her head continue to thud against the floor. It would take officers half an hour to arrive and by that time things on the other side of the door had grown quiet.

Before the cops rolled up and while I was still holding my pistol, I ventured out on the shared patio and retrieved her white high-heel shoes and matching purse. It was obvious from the position of the shoes; she had been knocked out of them.

The purse on the other hand was a different story. It was small and compact, but extremely heavy. Looking inside it, I discovered she was packing a .357 Magnum revolver around.

Further examination showed the ammo was nothing less than hollow-points. I realized then that he was lucky she dropped the purse as there is only one thing that caliber and bullets are good for: target practice and killing.

After the police arrived and had them cuffed up for domestic battery, I gave the shoes and purse to the lead officer, a sergeant. He too was surprised by the find and the woman found herself charged with carrying a concealed weapon.

Later that afternoon, it dawned on me – had I shot him for pounding on her as I had first intended – I could have ended up on the medical examiner’s table alongside him. I had forgotten how volatile domestic disputes can be.

I am glad I listened to my wife.

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