Nothing More Than a Character

My life is a poor excuse as I’ve allowed so much to pass by me without so much as a sideways glance. And that which I have lived out, is filled with fraud.

When I do reach for that fictitious brass-ring and dare to step outside the boundaries I’ve long since established, I find I do everything, every action, every thought incorrectly. At least this is how I see things.

The rules I live by no longer work. While they look good on paper and feel good to speak aloud, they carry no weight in this life I live.

And I’ve no idea why they seem so abstract now.

There is a serious doubt I carry in my heart and in my mind that says I’ll never find the life I once had. I thought I was a man of adventure, of action, yet I’ve discovered I am nothing more than a character in one of my many failed short-stories.

Marvena Lassle, 1958-2009

Marvena Lassle was born November 15, 1958. She passed away November 1, 2009, after a long battle with cancer.

The last time I saw Marvena was in August 2008. We were at out 30th high school class reunion.

She told me she felt like she didn’t have long to live, so she was happy to have made it to the party. I didn’t find the comment surprising as I could tell she wasn’t very healthy.

Marvena was always a sweet-girl in school, a gentle spirit and one with quirky sense of humor. I recall many times, especially on cross-country and track road trips; she’d say something that would leave me laughing.

She was jus’ short of turning 51 years old.