Baby-Daddy?


My past reached out and bit me in the butt again this week. I could not believe it. I admit that I have not been the best husband in the world. I put that behind me though and changed my life for good. I stopped screwing around and playing the field and all those things that I should not have been doing as a husband.

Admittedly I have had extramarital affairs. I have no excuse for what I did and you can say what you will about me because it is probably true. I refuse to dodge the beating when it is justified.

And I slept with a woman I should not have. I am not the only person she had sex with in this time frame either, but that is another story and yet all apart of the bigger picture.

About three months after our last sexual encounter this woman called me (while I was on the air at KOZZ) and told me she was pregnant. She said it was her deceased husband’s baby (he had died some months earlier due to a heart problem) and that she had it done through in vitro fertilization.

She also told me she was upset because her parents were angry with her for getting pregnant due to her disability which had worsened in the last couple of months. They felt certain she couldn’t care for a baby let alone herself.

As the time for the birth drew near, this same woman told my wife the same story she had told me about having had in vitro fertilization and that the baby was her long-dead husband’s. She also wanted to know if it was okay if I’d be the child’s God-father. I said I would.

When the baby-boy was born at St. Mary’s Hospital, I was one of the only two non-family members to come visit her in the hospital. Later I stood in front of a crowd of several people at a little Catholic church on Pyramid Way and swore that I’d be the ‘spiritual-guidance’ for her son should anything ever happen to his mother.

Within a 2-year period I would find myself moved up from God-father to being accused of being ‘Daddy’ to her child.

This came about after I was notified by a Washoe County Marshal that I was being charged with abandonment and neglect. Then these charges were modified to abuse because the child’s mother had roommates that hit him hard enough to leave bruise and other marks. He had been removed by Child Services from the home and placed in protective custody.

Up until then I was completely unaware that anything was happening with my ‘God-son.’ She never called or anything.

Never in my wildest imaginings did I think I’d get accused of such criminal misdeeds!

Paperwork shot back and forth from the Washoe County District Attorneys Office to myself and I had to go to court where I was fearful that I was going to be forced to go to jail for refusing to give-up my DNA. This is a matter of principle because I hold a birth certificate that says her deceased husband is the father of her child, not me.

And it is signed by her as well as a county Washoe County official on behalf of the State of Nevada.

Aside from her attorney, her parents were there in court with her. Mind you this is a 30-year old woman, whose mom and dad seemingly are holding her hands through this entire event. Plus the father is a Correctional Officer at the Susanville State Penitentiary. I was by myself and I felt very intimidated.

In the end though, that birth certificate turned out to be the deciding factor.

Once I entered that into evidence, the die was cast and her claim fell apart. No amount of glaring or posturing in the courtroom hallways could get beyond that simple piece of paper.

All charges were dropped.

That is until this week when an envelope arrived from San Bernardino County. I knew immediately I was in for another fight. Unfortunately, I knew it wasn’t going to be a fair fight or a simple instant replay.

Here’s the deal: twice in the last 5-months I have received two personal letters from this woman asking me to give up custodial rights to her child, so that her new husband, who is making good money as an engineer, can adopt the boy. The problem is that I have no rights to him and never did, so I realized very quickly that this was a set-up.

A sucker-punch was coming from somewhere and it finally landed in the form of this request for child support payments. I immediately drafted a letter and made a copy of the birth certificate mailed them both to the ‘Support Officer’ in San Bernardino County.

Now all I can do is sit and wait for the next move.

And the reason it isn’t going to be a fair fight is plain: the State of California is so frickin’ liberal that they’ll punch hole in that birth certificate and compel me to take a DNA test. I will refuse to do so of course because it is one of my civil liberties guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.

Besides I am not the ‘Daddy’ to her son. She told me so, she told my wife so and she told Washoe County so.

UPDATE:  In June 2007, I was contacted via registered letter that I was not only being sued for child support by the State of Montana on behalf of Christopher, but that I had to submit to DNA testing at my expense. This also came with a second choice; to sign away all parental-rights.

While I did argue that I had no parental rights in this case as I was never Christopher’s parent, only his God-father, my attorney recommended signing the paperwork and surrendering my ‘rights’ regardless as to no do so would eventually lead to the possibility of bankruptcy. So here I sit — wondering: am I the father of Christopher or am I his God-father?

The question it seems has been rendered moot.

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