True Confession Time

It’s time to confess a little about what I think is happening regarding my insomnia. I have bi-polar disorder along with and PTSD. I’ve had it for many years and it was never treated. Now it is being treated with both visits to an VHMC-MHP and medication.

And as I was laying next to my wife thinking about it, the idea occurred to me that my cold and coughing and lack of sleep has triggered an up-cycle in my disorder.

When I was a radio disc jockey this used to happen to me all the time but I usually paid it no mind because I worked the overnight shifts. My actions were always tempered with a lack of sleep due to sleeping in shifts. (That’s where I would sleep for a few hours, get up a few hours, and then sleep another few hours.) I never had a restful sleep.

Now that I am retired from radio and don’t work overnights, I can really see the pattern as my moods start to shift. I just need to remember to be aware of watching for this to happen …especially under stress. I think being sick with a cold and a cough that hurts an already injured back and not getting enough sleep has been a stressor.

It is literally like being on a train that rolls up a hill slowly into happiness, then at the peak it takes off wildly, racing downhill into depression, bottoming out, only to start the long process of chugging up the hill again. Left untreated it can leave a person believing they are insane.

Soon I will slow down and my mind will allow my body to rest. I will be able to sleep then.

I just wish my train came with a sleeper car.

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