Bumper-sticker Shock

Driving is always an adventure of sorts for the person truly seeking an adventure. One of my favorite past times while on the road is reading bumper stickers and the license plate wrap around.

One of my all-time favorite bumper stickers is, “Warning! I flick boogers.” Just last week I saw a license plate wrap-around that made me do a double-take. It said, “I like to drive topless.” It was on a little, red convertible sports car driven by a red-headed female.

This one I call my all-time oxymoron award winner. It was on a car driven by a woman who looked to be about sixty years old.

The wrap-around stated, “If you’re going to ride my butt, pull my hair.” And in the passenger side of the rear window was a sticker decrying “Don’t Abuse Women!”

Someone needs to tell her to make up her mind.

The holy trinity of stickers is the U. S. Marine Corps insignia, the National Rifle Association insignia, and the Number 3 Dale Earnhardt Memorial Sticker, all on the same back window. No, they don’t need to be in that order, but you can bet that if the Corps insignia is first then that’s what branch of service they were in or are in.

Don’t mess with the driver of this vehicle!

There is a part of me that worries about the poor soul that has the bumper sticker, “My President is Charlton Heston.” Two things have occurred in this driver’s life. They have either confused Charlton Heston with Ronald Reagan because they both have the same disease or this driver somehow thinks Moses is now a political figure.

Seeing “Rush is Right,” bumper stickers crack me up. I cannot help myself, because I know that eventually that driver is going to have to turn left at some point and where does that leave their sticker? It’s just a point of observation.

Then there’s the “Barbie has everything…” crowd. Uh, driver — Barbie is just a very well-built toy.

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